Not going to fib to all of you out there in blog land – lately, I’ve been slacking in my love for thrifting. I have amazing places near my house in Athens and in Charleston that sell for super cheap, and craigslist hasn’t totally failed me either. However, for the rest of you, I’m going to help you out with a few decor terms so you can properly label your crap.

  1. Vintage: There are very few vintage things that are plastic. For now, let’s settle for stuff made between 1950-1975 that is clean or at least able to be cleaned.
  2. Colors: Olive and sage are not interchangeable. Neither are periwinkle and blue, peach and beige, or hot pink and OMG MY EYES pink. Please consult a color wheel.
  3. Antique: This is usually code these days for crappy, antique-style Queen Anne reproductions you bought in 1992 when it was cool. Please stop trying to sell that crap, no one wants it.
  4. Like New: Person who was trying to sell the 20-year old “well cared for, like new” couches today, take note – like new means that I could conceivably find it in a store right now, and I wouldn’t know which furniture was yours and the store floor model. Floral couches cannot be found in stores right now. I don’t care how nice they are, if you let Fluffy on them, that’s not the best cared for couch. Neither is one that you ate on, one you slept on, or anything else.
  5. Or Best Offer: You know you’re not going to get a better offer. Save the bytes it takes to type that.
  6. Pictures: Put pics in post. Don’t offer to send them via phone. Clean up your house before you take the pic. Clean up your house before someone shows up for the furniture.
  7. Recently Reupholstered: You should have gone for more modern taste when you had that thing reupholstered a year ago. It still looks like it’s from 1993. (Side note: Where the hell did you find that fabric?)
  8. Chewed/Scratched: Detail it. Show us pictures. Please let us know what did that (if it was a rodent, don’t sell it).
  9. Price: Price it correctly. No rug is going to fetch half of what it sold for, unless it’s never been used. Just because the lamps are useful doesn’t mean they’re stylish. And please, if you know you have an Eames lounger, put it up for auction – not for $3400 to the wrong audience.
  10. Stains: If there are stains, explain them. Period.

And there you go. Got anything to add? Let me know – @thesarahmorgan on twitter.