ok, this is not to anyone i know. because first of all… everyone i know is a bit classier than this.

Now, I have been reading a fair number of DIY bride websites. Can I just say, there are about 1500 posts of things that look cheap and tacky, and about 5 good posts?

You all know I’m no graphic designer (not professionally, at least–I will say I know my way around photoshop and illustrator) but damned if I don’t know a couple of things that will make your crap look better:

1. Adobe offers free trials of photoshop cs3, paint shop pro comes as a free trial, corel offers drawing software as a free trial… LEARN IT! If you spend a week on there you should learn enough to make your stuff look professional. There are dozens of tutorials and Adobe’s free trial lasts 30 days. Figure out everything you want to make, and make it! If it expires, delete your copy and your cookies, save your work as .jpg  and redownload/reinstall. VOILA!

2. You do not need to use the same shitty ass Palace Script font as everyone else. Go to dafont.com and look at their Calligraphy section. Find yourself some beautiful free fonts and download. Go back to your photoshop. Find the add object and look at all objects, not just default. You’ll find fleur de lis, scrolls, borders and cute dingbats to use.

3. Saving money doesn’t have to be the prime objective, having a beautiful wedding can be, you know. Try your hand at DIYing some embossed invitations from your inkjet printer (google it). Use wax seals to class up your envelopes. And for the love of god, if you have a small budget and a lot of DIY, make sure your stuff stays in the SAME COLOR FAMILY. Lavender comes in about forty three billion shades. Stick to professional colors like Pantone colors (google it) and USE SWATCHES.

4. Line it up, bitches! A paper cutter, a good eye and 3 helpers will make sure your stuff is lined up. You don’ t want your cake looking like its falling (check out cake pictures on weddingchannel.com) nor do you want your invitations to come out blurry because you didn’t use 300 dpi instead of the standard 72 on MS Paint (Sidenote: if i ever see anyone use MS Paint in their wedding, I will personally shoot them… because I think everyone deserves a classy wedding. It’s not to be mean, it’s just to be everything you’ve ever dreamed of. ASK FOR HELP!)

5. You don’t have to pick inferior stuff… just buy on sale! For example, personalized napkins. One website has 100 for $18.99. That’s a great deal, but the font choices look like the dog ate them. Another has 50 for $11.29, and have much better font choices and options. A little more costly, but still cheaper than the ones from the knot, for example.

I think I may have said enough. To check out who i was referring to, see this website: